Jul 19, 2024 04:20am

By Amelia Knight Pinkston

Under Brain (Stress, Mindset, Happiness) & Vet Med

9 min read

Vet Med: 7 Communication Tips To Build Trust and Decrease Frustration With Clients

A nervous system–informed approach to reducing conflict, rebuilding trust, and supporting the well-being of pets, pet owners, and the veterinary team.

When clients feel stressed, misunderstood, or judged, trust breaks down — even when your medical recommendations are solid. These 7 communication strategies help rebuild trust by addressing what’s really driving client behavior — including why some pet owners turn to breeders, groomers, or Google before their vet.

You know how some pet owners trust their breeder, groomer, friend, or Google more than you?

I’ll be honest — this used to really bother me.
Like rant-to-my-husband kind of bother. 😆

Not just because it didn’t make sense, but because their trust in those sources scared me. I care deeply about my patients, and sometimes that outside advice isn’t just unhelpful — it’s harmful.

I’ve seen breeders send puppies to their new homes on “vitamins” that were actually antibiotics.
Dogs made anemic from garlic “heart worm prevention.”
Neurologic cases caused by misuse of essential oils.

At first, my frustration led to judgment.

But that judgment didn’t help the pets — or me.
It created a "me vs them" mindset, felt draining, and prevented me from understanding why this was really happening.

The Shift That Changes Everything: From Judgment to Curiosity

The minute you replace judgment with curiosity, you open the door to clarity and problem-solving.

A much more helpful question to ask is:

Why is it understandable — from their perspective — that pet owners trust and turn to their groomer/breeder/google for advice more than their vet?

One big reason: positive intention.

Most pet owners probably don’t think that their groomer/breeder/friend knows more than you.
But they do trust that they have a positive intention — and for vets, they’re not always so sure.

And that’s understandable from their perspective.

From their perspective, they see:

a business
rising veterinary prices and $$$ anytime they talk to you
recommendations that may not seem important to them
a job where you get to play with puppies and kittens all day

And often they don't see:

how much you care
how much you’ve sacrificed to have the knowledge to help them
how much you hate the rising cost of veterinary care too

This isn't a problem. It just means that part of our role is to make our positive intentions clear.

Being a business and caring are not mutually exclusive — but in a world where many businesses prioritize profit over people, we can’t assume pet owners will automatically see our positive intentions.

Veterinary medicine thrives when the wellbeing of the pet, the owner, and the veterinary team are supported. If any one of those three breaks down, everyone loses — including the hospital.

That means part of our role is being proactive in showing that we care and that our recommendations come from a place of genuine concern, not just protocol or profit.

So what can you do to make your positive intention clear?

Here are 7 communication tips to build trust and strengthen relationships with clients

1. Adopt a nervous system-informed approach.

That starts with being able to recognize when someone is in a stress response so you can:

PAUSE as soon as a stress response is observed
GET CURIOUS about what feels stressful, overwhelming, or unsafe from their perspective
IDENTIFY what's needed to re-establish safety and mutual respect
SET A BOUNDARY if mutual respect or safety aren’t possible

For example, an upset client = a human in the fight stress response.

So instead of immediately reacting or getting defensive, start by recognizing that you’re interacting with a human whose nervous system is responding to something that feels stressful or overwhelming to them.

Get curious about what could be contributing:

Are they worried about their pet?
Stressed about finances?
Dealing with something difficult outside of this visit?

That curiosity will help you to identify what needs to happen to re-establish safety.

And if they can't be respectful, it's time to create a boundary so that they have time to regroup (or find a different practice that's a better fit). Continuing to engage with disrespectful behavior creates an unsafe environment for the veterinary team — and doesn’t serve the client, the pet, or the practice.

Listen to the No More Bullies: Overcoming Toxic Clients and the Negative Thoughts Weighing You Down video (and earn free CE) for more details.

2. Identify their priorities and concerns early and speak to those throughout the visit

This is important even if their priorities and concerns are much different from yours!

For example: When the pet owner wants a nail trim but you’re more concerned about the dog’s respiratory rate and heart failure.

“I know you really want a nail trim today, but I’m concerned that Bella’s heart failure is progressing and we need to adjust her medications.

I know she’s so special to you, so we need to make sure she’s breathing okay before doing a nail trim so that we don’t put any stress on her heart.

Let’s increase her medication to___ and give me an update tomorrow with her sleeping respiratory rate. Let’s have her come in at the end of this week so that I can listen to her again and as long as she’s doing better we’ll do her nail trim then, because I know that's important to you.

How does that sound?”

3. Help them to feel heard and respected with active listening.

Doesn’t it feel AMAZING when you give a client instructions and they repeat it back to you showing that they were listening and absorbed what you said?

It goes both ways! Show that you genuinely hear them by pausing to summarize what they said — and asking if you got that right.

Example:

“So it sounds like the diarrhea started 3 days ago and since then he hasn’t wanted to eat his normal food, but he will eat chicken if you hand feed it.

And the day before it all started, you had a dinner party so it’s possible that someone gave him something.

Did I get that right? Anything else I should know or that you’re concerned about?”

4. Be transparent to build trust.

Why avoiding money or uncertainty conversations often backfires

If you avoid talking about pricing because it makes you uncomfortable, the owner may be unpleasantly surprised by the bill at the end and may assume you were trying to rack up the bill (instead of the reality that you were avoiding it because you either don’t know prices or it makes you uncomfortable).

Talking about money doesn’t have to be stressful – the price isn’t good or bad, it’s just information.

Be proactive in sharing the cost of things before they ask for it so you’re on the same page and so you can work together to offer the spectrum of care that’s doable for them.

Check out these podcast episodes for more on a proactive approach to finances:

This also goes for when you don’t immediately know the answer to something.

As a new grad, I used to be so afraid of having an owner discover that I didn’t know something. Eventually I realized owners are not here to grade you, they just want to know that you care and that their pet is in good hands.

Often, owners really appreciate it when I say,

“You know what, my colleague is an expert when it comes to eye cases like these. I’d love to get her opinion. Do you mind if I bring Woodford out back for a moment so she can look at it?”

Imagine what that does to their perception of value when they know they are getting two doctors working together — versus if you were to take their dog out back without really telling them why or not asking for help on a case because it felt embarrassing.

5. Put your positive brain filter on to help them to see the positives, too.

One common thing I hear is that pet owners feel judged by their vet, sometimes leading them to withhold or lie about information — like the type of pet food they’re feeding.

Help them to feel like you’re on their team — not grading them — by intentionally noticing and naming their wins.

Example:

Before talking about the fact that their dog is super overweight:

comment on their adorable collar
celebrate that they’ve been brushing their pet's teeth every day
or acknowledge they were making an effort to work on weight loss by switching to a weight loss diet (even if they actually gained weight)

6. Don’t make judgments or assumptions, get curious.

Judgment doesn’t feel good for you or the pet owner. Curiosity not only feels better, it helps to deepen your relationship with and understanding of the client and to meet them where they are to come up with a plan that they feel good about.

Ex: If they decline a preventative, don’t assume you know why.

This is an amazing opportunity to understand their priorities and to educate in a way that lands.

Do they not think their pet is at risk (for example, assuming fences protect against fleas)?
Are they worried about cost?
Are they concerned about chemicals and want “all natural” products?*
Are they feeling rushed or overwhelmed?

*Even if you aren't concerned about the chemicals, they are giving you important information about their values and fears. It's crucial to acknowledge, rather than dismiss that, in order to build a trusting relationship.

7. Be present with them.

Vet med often involves a lot of multi-tasking, but when you’re in the exam room you can give the owner and their pet the gift of your full attention.

Bonus: it's a nice opportunity for you to pause, ground yourself, and to be mindful rather than rushing. I love that AI scribe options are now available so that you can focus on the conversation with the owner instead of trying to type medical notes — while saving time.

Which of these are you going to use? Let me know in the comments!

In your corner,

Dr. Amelia Knight Pinkston
Integrative health & life coach
Consultant | Speaker | Veterinarian