Ep. 93 | Concussion Chronicles #6: From Control to Trust - Making Peace With Discomfort

Healing isn’t about control — it’s about trust. In this episode, Dr. Amelia shares the lessons her concussion recovery taught her about releasing resistance and the need to control, embracing discomfort, and finding peace in uncertainty.

Transcript:

Podcast Intro: 

Welcome to the Life Boost with Amelia podcast — where we're changing the narrative around what true health and success look like.

They should give you energy, not drain it.

I'm your host, Dr. Amelia — multi-passionate integrative health and life coach, entrepreneur, and recovered burnout veterinarian.

Together, we'll explore the science behind how your brain and body work, including the unconscious mind, while also connecting with what your heart needs in order to stand up to the norm of feeling stuck on a hamster wheel — working hard yet feeling exhausted and not where you want to be — and instead live a life that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning and in love with who you see when you look in the mirror.

The reality is if you do what everyone else is doing, you're not going to feel good.
Let's break the norm.

A Morning Walk Reflection

Hi friend. I am going for my morning walk. It is beautiful outside. The sky is blue. Fall in North Carolina is just the best. It feels slightly cool, but the sun is out. And yeah, I'm loving it.

So it means it's time for another Concussion Chronicle story.

If this is the first Concussion Chronicles episode that you are listening to, I had a freak accident a couple months ago that led to a slow concussion recovery.

And even though that experience felt really hard, there were also a lot of pearls of wisdom and important reflections that happened during that time.

If you're curious about what happened and how I got it, check out the first in this series — but today we are going to continue to read a post that I had created.

Processing Through Post-It Notes

I was writing down my feelings on post-it notes because that was the only way that I was really able to be processing or sharing my experience.

And the one today was very raw. It was really a glimpse into how I was feeling in the thick of things and how I was processing.

So I'm gonna start with reading the post.

The Post

I cry multiple times a day.
I am okay.
This feels really hard.
I am adapting.

All of those can be true.

As a society, we have an interesting response to crying. We tend to want it to stop. To make things "better", to not seem weak, not be too sensitive, not be such a downer.

As someone who used to be a pro at compartmentalizing, being tough, and rarely crying, I see it differently now.

I see crying as brave. It's processing. It's vulnerable. It's a release. It's honest.

I've had a concussion before, but it was mild. My head hurt for a couple days, I took it easy, and then I was fine.

I didn't realize what a concussion could be like.

Everyone's experience is different, but for me, a concussion feels like having most of the things that brought me joy and comfort suddenly taken away and not knowing when they'll come back.

It is like navigating my day with an invisible electric fence. If I cross the fence, it'll set me back.

So I try to stay away from the fence based on what I've learned the day before, but it moves.

Sometimes I wake up and I've already crossed the invisible fence like today.

How do I get back to where it's safe?
What can I do?
I don't know.

I feel a lot like a Roomba — spending my day quietly wandering around my house, being mildly productive, doing mindless tasks, and then needing to return to my charging station for my brain to reset.

If I'm overly ambitious or something gets in my way, I require assistance or may be down for a while.

When I look at it from that outside perspective, I can find amusement.

I know in the future I'm going to look back on this experience and be grateful for the lessons and perspectives that I gained.

But that doesn't mean finding them is easy.

I can see how needing to completely detach from screens, my work, physical activity, etc., could be a useful reset — an opportunity to pause, turn inward, reflect, and gain wisdom I would've missed if I hadn't been forced to pause.

But the thing that makes me cry the most, because I don't yet understand the lesson, is the lack of connection.

I'm so grateful to have Matt helping me so much, but I miss my family, friends, and community.

Connection is one of my core values.

Genuine connection with others fills up my cup, but right now it feels like there's a wall between me and everyone else.

Every message and comment I've received means so much, but the invisible electric fence makes it hard to talk back.

Yesterday, I just wanted to be able to talk to my family on the phone for my birthday.

It made me so happy to hear their voices and to connect in that way.

But the invisible fence showed up just a couple minutes in. I had to say bye way before I was ready.

Connection lights me up when everything else feels hard, and yet trying to connect sets me back in my recovery — a recovery without clear steps and an unknown end date.

And so I cry.

Because I don't understand.
Because I feel sad.
Because this feels frustrating.
And all those big emotions need to flow through me so they don't consume me.

And also, I'm okay.
I'm adapting.
I'm accepting.

I'm writing down the successes and glimmers.

I'm seeing how lucky I am to have so many amazing people in my life.

How lucky I am to have a career I love so much that it feels hard to have to hit pause.

And how lucky that all of this is temporary.

How lucky that I'm at a point in my life where I have so many tools to help me move through and process hard things.

That doesn't mean that it's easy, but it means I'm not stuck, and I can see the light in the darkness — like an opportunity to deepen my spiritual connection and meditation.

I am mostly writing this because it helps me to process.

And maybe this is an opportunity to think about how you've been taught to react to crying.

Is your automatic reaction to try to stop it, fix it, or to feel bad?
Or do you embrace that beautiful way to process and complete the stress cycle?

If you've reached out, thank you. I'm not looking at screens at all for a few days, or longer, so Matt is posting this for me.

Can't wait until this wall comes down so I can connect with you again.

I'm okay.
This feels hard.
I'm adapting.

Reflections from the Other Side

It's interesting reading that back now, being on the other side.

I was so right that there were really important lessons and that I was gaining great perspectives.

And I am really proud of myself for trusting that that was going to happen, even when, in the middle of it, it didn't make sense and it felt really hard.

That is what has given me what I think of as compassionate resilience and so much deep trust in myself — in navigating life even when things are out of my control.

Knowing that I will be okay.
That I can adapt.
That things can feel so shitty and hard, but they're not going to consume me.

They're not going to weigh me down so much that I can't move forward.

Learning to Exhale Through Discomfort

The old me resisted so much — discomfort, feeling, imperfection, fear of not being liked, fear of being nervous or making a mistake.

I just wanted to grasp on and control everything so I didn't have to feel discomfort.

And that was exhausting — and so uncomfortable.

All of those unprocessed feelings, resistance, constant vigilance, and being in survival mode were hurting my body.

I couldn't just keep operating that way.

Learning how to exhale even in the middle of discomfort and to trust myself — to know that I am going to be okay — has been life-changing.

That's how I know:

• If I make a mistake

• If someone doesn't like me

• If I lose something that is really valuable to me

• If I share an idea and everybody thinks that it's stupid

Yes, all of those things are going to feel uncomfortable because that's a normal human emotion.

And also, I know that I will be able to adapt and be okay — because nothing external has the power to take away the way that I feel about myself, the trust that I have in myself, and my ability to be okay feeling the discomfort so I can move through it.

That has been the most empowering and liberating shift — releasing the need to control external things simply because I have deep trust in myself.

A Compassionate Takeaway

That's the kind of approach that I teach in the Aligned Success Reboot.

If you want to learn more about that, the link is in the show notes.

Today, maybe explore:

• What is your conditioned reaction to big emotions like crying?

• How can you give yourself permission to feel those normal human emotions?

• How can you start getting more comfortable with them — to not see them as a problem, but instead as part of the beautiful human experience — so that you can move forward?

Sending you so much love, positive vibes, and energy.

Mentioned in This Episode

• The Aligned Success Reboot (ASR): A 6-month mind-body coaching experience for high achievers ready to replace hustle with sustainable success. Learn more or join the waitlist → https://www.lifeboost.today/aligned-success-reboot
• Earlier Concussion Chronicles Episodes: Start from the beginning to hear how this journey unfolded.